My mother used to experience neck pain and every now and then I do too. One day I woke up and the pain was so sharp that I could not look up. The pain forced my posture to remain in a chronic position of bowing. 🙇♀️
I had just been through a humiliating episode in which I had reluctantly shut up and bent my values for others because I was scared to cause a stir. Pleasing people to avoid conflict seems to work on the spot but it’s a slow death for the soul. We obliterate our sense of self when we sacrifice. Also the conflict doesn’t even go away! It would be too easy! No, the conflict is transferred within because our actions are no longer in line with our values/our boundaries/our needs/our gut instinct… what makes us who we are.
In my neck I was feeling :
😡 Anger! Against myself of course, for betraying my values
😖 Shame! for being weak, for not speaking up … and also….
😨 Fear! Fear for what might happen if I stand up for myself like I know I should ☠️.
What I’ve learnt from neck pain is that I can’t see the sky when I bow.
Fear and pain dissipate if I try, little by little to:
- set a boundary
- say no
- stand up for myself …