Mandy’s story 2/2
Mandy had her first migraine at the age of 14 (you can read her full story here), now that she is understands the real cause and triggers of her pain, she shares with us what she has worked for her.
Things I have learned on my TMS journey:
- Emotion often distorts truth– even if there is truth to what I am feeling (ex. I made a mistake and need to fix it) the emotion behind it distorts it (ex. I need to fix this mistake right now or I will ruin everything and it will be all my fault). In 24 hours most things are fixed or blow over and it is not worth the intense stress to take the emotional response as fact.
- Negative thought patterns can be unlearned– Unnecessary anxiety (social, future, etc.), being overly self-critical, reoccurring guilt and shame, constantly forcing myself to do more or be more efficient- are all just behaviors that can be mitigated. They are not permanent. These behaviors can be reduced by journaling, researching psychological concepts, discussing with a therapist, soothing, and making decisions in the moment.
- Positivity and effort won’t fix every situation– sometimes things are bad and there is nothing you can do about it other than feel the emotions and make the best of it. That is the human experience.
- Everything is a gray area– You are not good or bad. Stages of life have good parts and bad parts. Bad situations are caused by a variety of factors, some you might have been able to control, others you could not. There is not always right or wrong. Trying to categorize complex experiences as one thing or another is untrue and will only cause stress.
- I choose to show up for life rather than hiding away from making mistakes or doing things incorrectly.
- How I feel right now matters– I deserve choosing peace in the moment above concern for anyone else. I need and deserve to maintain a level of calm and unconditional self-acceptance.
- I am not broken- physically or mentally. I do not need to keep improving myself or finding the one thing about my life I haven’t fixed yet. I don’t need to focus on my health 100% of the time to be well.
- I now have the tools to handle difficult experiences– I do not need to fear going back to the emotional place that began these headaches.
- Joy can be cultivated– it is there even when it doesn’t feel like it
📚 If like Mandy you have TMS / stress-induced condition this leaflet created by SIRPA provides great information to better understand pain.